|
Post
by:
toanci
member
ID 17568
Date: 06/23/2009
|
My menory ! Giúp mìnhsửa lỗi với !!
Mình không giỏi viết tiếng anh lắm ! mọi người giúp mình sủa lỗi ngữ pháp với
The tunnels of the Củ Chi Củ Chi, the land of the heroes. Last Sunday, I went to Củ Chi with my family. In this morning, I waked up early, i was so happy because this is the fist time i went to Củ Chi. I prepared my luggage last night. At the begin, this was difficult to find the nearest way to the Củ Chi. I asked so many people. At last, i knew the nearest way to Củ Chi. Everything is beautiful, Củ Chi made me like the different person. The fields without restraint, the way was very clean. All things were very quite different far from my city. The girls were more beautiful than the girls in the city, i thought so, because they had the hidden beauty, The beauty of innocence. I tried to breath the smell of the rice, that smell i hadn't got change to breath when i live in the city. This made me more excited. Somewhere, the farmers were working with the happy face. Went to Củ Chi, I didn't go to the tunnel Bến Dược like the normal. My father said to go to the Bến Đình where he usually go. He went to buy tickets, I felt the receptionist was lovely. After that, I went to the way to the tunnels and saw funny sight. The foreigner tourist want to go to WC but he didn't see the table introduction near him. He went keenly to the brushwood which have the table: " Don't enter here" with happy face for relax. All people smile wildly and show him the table. I think this is a funny man. I paused few minutes because the funny sight. All my emotion begin !! Pass the way to the tunnel, I were introduced to see documentary film about the Củ Chi in the 1967-1968. I proud of my people, one people one hero. They live under the land in order to fight again the Americans soldiers. The baby born in the tunnels and grow up in the tunnels. But they feel happy because they fight for their country. After five minutes, some tourists go to the tunnels documentary film. I saw the beautifulest girls in my life. I thing i love her in the first sight. She have white skin, lovely face and charming lips. She sat next to me but I couldn't say anything because I am shy. I saw her again and i remembered the song "Shy" of the rock band "Sonata Artica" the lyrics is " I can see how you are beautiful, can you feel my eyes on you, I'm shy and turn my head away...Talk to me, show some pity". Feeling all of my soul and i can't say with her. After that, we go to place which show the weapons of soldiers in Củ Chi. They were so easy to make but so damage for the spirit of the Americans soldiers. Although they couldn't kill anyone. She take many photographs and she looks beautiful when she take photographs with our soldiers. I see her patriotism and i love her more because we are patriotism. I just know her name is Chi and the name never fade in my mind I love you, Chi
góp
ý kiến
|
Reply:
davidlay
member
REF: 99430
Date: 06/23/2009
|
Your essay is great, creative and special directions but you had many mistakes. some mistakes are subject verb agrement, article, verb tense, comparative adjective, wrong words....
= means correct
this is a funny man=he is a funny man
few minutes = a few munutes
I were=I was
I proud of my people=I'm proud of them
one people=one person
beautifulest =most beautiful
she have/take=she had/took (she has/takes)
.......good luck..........
|
Reply:
cuteteen
member
REF: 99438
Date: 06/26/2009
|
-WENT TO CU CHI, I didn't go to the tunnel Bến Dược like the normal...(going to cu chi)
-All things were very quite different far from my city..(all things were very different from)
-i think that u should use the past tense in the end of the essay
|
|
|
|
Kí hiệu:
:
trang cá nhân :chủ
để đã đăng
 :
gởi thư
:
thay đổi bài
:ý kiến |
|
|
|
|
|
