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Post
by:
zeroman
member
ID 15475
Date: 06/26/2007
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the famous bridge i knew
my countryside is pleace in west of Viet Nam , but i'm living in HCM city for my education and career
sometime or holiday i usual to comback my countryside to see my parents and my village , from HCM to my village it take about eight hours sitting on the car .passed many bridge the bigest is my thuan bridge , from far looking it's very high majesty you known it's importance bridge of west connect two sides of tien river . before had my thuan bridge it take about hours to pass tien river now only twenty minutes specially after had this bridge , west of viet Nam more development
mình đang practic writing . các bạn xem , chỉ dùm mình chổ sai nha
cảm ơn nhiều
góp
ý kiến
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Reply:
thoithanhtan
member
REF: 93828
Date: 06/26/2007
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My hometown is in western Vietnam. Now I am living in HoChiMinh city because of my education and my career. On the vacations or public holidays,I usually return my native to visit my parents and my village. It takes about eight hours on the car to go my village from hochiminh . On the way,I go through many bridges .The biggest one is My Thuan Bridge. When we see it at a distance, it seems to be a rainbow ,looks majestic. When come near the bridge, we appreciate it is really a famous construction.
With the financial favor of Australia Government, My Thuan bridge is the first chain-bridge in VietNam. It was buit to connect two regions of Tien River .In the past, it took hours to go through this river by ship or ferry-boat.As having this bridge ,the transportation becomes much easy.Futhermore,it distributes the important condition of the economic development of western VietNam.
I base on the ideas in your post and rewrite it.I'm sure that it still has many mistakes.I hope you will correct them so that we can learn from each other.Thanks.À,I have not ever gone to west of VietNam.Would you take me to visit your hometown?
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Reply:
zeroman
member
REF: 93870
Date: 06/26/2007
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thanks thoithanhtan very much
hope you will support me after post
if can i will invite you go to my hometown for holiday
my hometown isn't touring place . but it had many beauty-spot i thought so my house is in seaside font of house is seaward . we can setting before the house looking far in the sea relax drinking some beer earting seafood talking any thing from important thing to funny thing
after holiday you will felt easiness (thoải mái) get power to back your work
how do you think my invite ?
pls reply me soon
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Reply:
violet
member
REF: 93880
Date: 06/27/2007
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Hi Thoithanhtan and rezoman
I read your post. My hometown is in western Vietnam. I am glad to read this post.
Best Regards
Vi
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Reply:
yenaomi
member
REF: 93883
Date: 06/27/2007
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hello everyone! Can i join the trip with you? I like traveling very much! Hope u will agree. Thank you very much!
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Reply:
namthao
member
REF: 93892
Date: 06/27/2007
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Hi Zeroman,
Tôi rất thích cách bạn viết, tuy nhiên tôi xin nói trước đây là publish do đó mỗi người mỗi ý, tuỳ bạn judge yourself.
Thứ nhứt, bạn đã biết cách dùng "but" để connecting 2 sentences. kế đến là your ideas was very clear. tôi xin analysing: đầu sentence bạn cần phải viết capital "M"; bỏ chữ "Pleace"; mình thích bạn dùng the west of Viet Nam better than western Viet Nam. Why????
West of Viet Nam: phần phía tây của nước Viet Nam.
Western Viet Nam: (phía) tây Việt Nam không phải là phần của Việt Nam.
Thí dụ: North Korea and South Korea, hoặc trước kia người ta thường nói: North Viet Nam or South Viet Nam hoặc West Germany or East Germany. one country but seperated.
bây giờ: East of Germany and West of Germany; North of Viet Nam and South of Viet Nam. one country, But not seperated.
Do đó phần mở đầu mình có thể sữa cho bạn như sau (not much). When writing should use formal writing althought it is not thing wrong with unformal.
My countryside is in the west of Viet Nam , but I am living in HCM city for my education and career.
Bạn dùng "for" ở đây perfect.
I usually come back my countryside to see my parents and village on (during) holidays and my spare time.
bạn đã dùng "my" parents, bạn không cần dùng "my" cho village nữa.
It takes about eight hours sitting on the car from HCM city to my Village.
Discuss about tense. Bạn đã dùng "usually come back" có nghĩa là bạn đã về quê và trong tương lai bạn sẻ về quê nữa, do đó tôi chỉ dùng present tense ở đây.
Completed rewriting:
My countryside is in the west of Viet Nam , but I am living in HCM city for my education and career.
On the way home, I pass on many bridges, and the bigest bridge is My Thuận that looks very high majesty with a far view. As you know the My Thuận bridge is important bridge of the West, which connects two sides of Tien river. Before having My Thuan bridge, it took about hours for passing river, but now it takes about about twenty minutes. The West of Viet Nam is development more.
Chúc bạn thành đạt.
Nam Thao
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Reply:
zeroman
member
REF: 93908
Date: 06/27/2007
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thanks bạn namthao rất nhiều
mình mới tập viết được 1 tuần nên sai còn nhiều
được bạn chỉ dẫn mình rất biết ơn và có thêm động lực để tập viết nhiều hơn
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Reply:
namthao
member
REF: 93921
Date: 06/28/2007
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Hi Zeroman,
Thật sự tôi rất thích những người luôn có đầu óc hướng về phía trước như bạn. Trong tiếng anh, học hành có nhiều bậc. Không nhiều, ít nhứt bạn cũng biết nối hai mệnh đề với nhau thì đã giỏi hơn người chỉ biết viết từng sentence một. tuy nhiên tôi khuyên bạn.
- Double or more checkings again sau khi bạn viết xong.
- dấu chấm và dấu phết phải có cho những nơi cần thiết trong khi viết. Ngày xưa khi tôi học, nếu tôi dùng tense không đúng tôi bị trừ một diễm. dùng dấu chấm và dấu phẫy không đúng bị trừ 1/2 điễm. dùng article không đúng bị trừ 1/4 điễm. ý tứ câu văn không rõ ràng, mỗi chữ trừ một điễm.
Chúc bạn vui vẽ
Nam Thao
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Reply:
cuteteen
member
REF: 93923
Date: 06/28/2007
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hì, teen mới thi xong nè, chấm điểm cũng kinh khủng lắm, bắt từng chữ 1 luôn....1 chọi 10 lận, ghê lem'....hixhix
miss namthao much....T_T
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