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Forum > Nhật k tiếng Anh >> please read and correct for me

Bấm vo đy để gp kiến

 Post by: linhtrang
 member
 ID 15162
 Date: 05/26/2007


please read and correct for me
profile - trang ca nhan  posts - bai da dang    edit -sua doi, thay doi  post reply - goy y kien
TRAVEL
Most of us want to travel. Travel around the world is a desire of us. You like to travel to China because you want to see directly The Great Wall of China. You like to go to France to visit Effel Tower or you like to go to India to eye-witness the wonderful and mistery beauty of Pyramid. Im also the same to you.I also want to travel around the world.It helps me have much knowledge of many things, have a chance to see a lot of people and make friends with different people, know about different customs and manners of each countries, eye-witness lots of things which only have in books or TV. Its wonderful.But the cost of traveling isnt cheap. Its a big problem. If we have enough money, whats an easy thing. But if you dont have enough money, what will you do? How we have to do in this situation? Lend? Not available. Work and save money until enough money ? Let me try to calculate. If you are a normal Vietnamese person, you cant graduate from any university until you are 22 or 23 years old. After that you and save money. How much money are you paid a month? 1,000,000VND 2,000,000VND or more?what things you have to cover?at last how much you can save?if you work at a foreign company this salary can be higher, but not enough for travel when you are young if you want to go abroad. I think you need a long time for save money. Which solve for that situation? How we deal between work and relax like European? Theres only solution. Do you know? Travel to every places in ourcountry is also is vey wonderful. Hoi An with ancient street area. Ngu Hanh Son Mountain with the great Beauty. Ha Long Bay with ancient cave is certified as an international vestigates. Then Cu Lao Cham, Hue city etc all of them is very nice. Besides, you can go swimming at the sea with cheap cost. Da Nang beach is called one of six beaches is the most beautiful in the world




gp kiến
 Reply: namthao
 member
 REF: 92522
 Date: 05/28/2007


  profile - trang ca nhan  posts - bai da dang  edit - sua bai, thay doi   post reply - goy y kien, dang bai
Rewriting:
Nowadays, most people love to travel around the world. Some people go to China to see the great wall, other people visit France to see the Effel Tower, and some other people love to enjoy the wonderful and mistery beauty of Pyramid in India. People are interested in traveling almost everywhere, and I am the one of those people. I am interested in travel to the world because :writing details of advantage during traveling: learning, enjoying, . . . .

then writing details of disadvantage during traveling: cost, criminal, problems: languages, cultures . . . . .

Final thought: writing details:
advantage and disadvantage when travel by your own ideas
That all I could help.
Good luck


 
 Reply: hajimemashite
 member
 REF: 92907
 Date: 06/04/2007


  profile - trang ca nhan  posts - bai da dang  edit - sua bai, thay doi   post reply - goy y kien, dang bai
I think you can see Pyramid only in Egypt, not in India.

Anyway, you had good ideas. I like your writing although it has not been perfect completely yet.

Hope to try with all your best in next writing.


 
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