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Post
by:
whynot
member
ID 15035
Date: 05/18/2007
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Funny Answering Machine Messages...
Lindsey's not home now. This is his domestic droid speaking. I'm not programmed to answer the phone, so just leave a message, and Lindsey will get back to you as soon as possible .
Lucifer speaking. Who in hell do you want?
Me no here. Me go bye. Leave me message. Me reply.
My time is billed at $125 per hour. Please begin your message with your MasterCard or Visa number, card type, and date of expiration. I'll get back to you pending credit approval. Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $0.95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone...
Next on Public Radio 91 we'll be hearing music of Antonin Dvorak, his "Beep Serenade in C-Sharp Minor, Opus 72."
No! NO! Not THAT! Anything but that! Not the beep! No! Please! Not the beep! Anything but the beep! AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Please leave your name, phone number, the time you called, and your favorite color of underwear. We'll get back to you if we like the color.
Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 2.05. Counting down to test: 5...4...3...2...1...
Rub-a-dub-dub, Just got in the tub, Rick is out playing; the kids are misbehaving, and can't come to the phone.
Sorry, Chris and Susan aren't here right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone. If you are calling regarding an outstanding debt, please leave your message BEFORE the tone.
Starship Enterprise, Uhura here, can you hold please? -- Captain, there is a transmission coming in on hailing frequency seven, do you want it on screen?
Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away. Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer.
Steve is reassembling Elvis' brain and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name...
Suicide Hotline...please hold.
Susan and I are not here right now. We're in the bathroom having some fun. She likes it up and down and I like it back and forth. Leave a message at the beep and we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished brushing our teeth. Thank you.
Thank you for calling 555-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.
Thank you for calling Santa's workshop. Santa can't come to the phone right now, and the elves are out back barbecuing Blitzen. After the tone, please leave your Christmas list, and maybe we'll get back to you!
from "for ALL to ALL"
http://4all2all.blogspot.com/
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