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Post
by:
hoacomay
member
ID 17335
Date: 12/14/2008
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help me to correct...
Hi...my exam is coming up. I write some topics and post here. I hope that you will help me correct them, you also add your ideas to my paragraph. Tks a lots.
Topic : where do you go on your vacation?
One of my favourites is traveling, and I am expecting to travel to the North of Vietnam in next my long vacation. The first reason I expect to go there is visit Uncle Ho's tomb. When I was a child I was told about his story. Especially, the some first day at school I was taught about Uncle Ho's the five-point of teaching. I admire him, so visiting his tomb is great for me. Besides, I has a pen friend in Phu Tho province who I met at the exam of entrance university, and she also has the same name as mine. Our friendship has set up since then but we have no chance to meet each other until now. Another reason is that I was learnt Ha Noi has thirty six wards, for example, the Sugar ward, the chicken ward, … but I still havent imagined how it is, so I expect I can go around Ha Noi capital to see what people has ever talk about. I also want to feel the beauty and scent of Hoa Sua flower. Last reason is that I have read newspaper which told that HaNoi will be expanded within next few years. This times will be a great change of Hanoi capital's face, so I want to see its shape before changing. In short, I love spending my long vacation as the above mentioned reasons, and I hope that this chance comes to me asap.
góp
ý kiến
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Reply:
daoanhanhdung
member
REF: 99298
Date: 03/05/2009
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your essay's very great .I don't praise you
the evidence is shown that It was a long time after your post there's no comment here.
But personally, I think a few of linking verbs should be replaced by those employed to empharise so as to make yours more vivid , First of all/ to start with / For a start/ To summarize generally /On the one hand& On th other hand/..., for examples.
not only did I do , but a great deal of people also did this, in reality!.
This is my personal opinion on yours.
have a nice day.
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